Table of contents
- Benching
- Breadcrumbing
- Catch and release
- ENM/CNM
- Pick-me
- Curved
- Cushioning
- Cuffing season vs. freckling
- Demisexual vs. fraysexual
- Dry dating
- Green dating
- Ick
- Love bombing
Benching
It happens often: you meet someone you like but don’t know if they have relationship potential. Some people choose to bide their time, texting the person now and then to keep them interested, but keeping other options open simultaneously.
Breadcrumbing
Breadcrumbing is similar to benching in that people are sending sporadic text messages in both cases. This term indicates that the person doing the breadcrumbing already knows the relationship won’t work. They don’t want conflict or don’t know how to break things off. In some cases, the breadcrumber simply likes the attention and enjoys keeping other people interested. The three can coexist.
Someone is being breadcrumbed if they get flirty messages, but things don’t move beyond texting or messaging.
Catch and release
C&R typically applies to hookups. It could be a one-night stand with someone you’re not particularly attached to, who is to be “released back” into the dating pool. This practice is more prevalent in some populations than others. As of 2024, 91% of college students suspect their peers are hooking up at least occasionally. 90% believe hookup culture typifies their campus. Up to 86% have had a hookup in college, with men more prone to such behavior than women. 67% of hookups take place at parties. Intercourse does not define a hookup, with up to 70% of these experiences not including it.
ENM/CNM
These acronyms stand for ethical non-monogamy and consensual non-monogamy. In these relationships, people agree to see and potentially sleep with other people.
Pick-me
You may have encountered a girl who tried to demonstrate she was somehow “different” from other girls—more considerate, caring, less demanding, wearing less makeup, etc. Pick me girls insist they are different, believing this makes them more attractive. There are also pick-me guys who feign insecurity or low self-esteem to attract attention.
Why do some people crave attention while others don’t? Attention-seeking behavior has been linked to genuinely low self-esteem, loneliness, narcissism, or an anxious attachment style.
Curved
Someone got “curved” if they were turned down for a date or stood up on one. According to a YouGov survey, 14% of people have stood someone up once, and 7% have done so several times. Men are more likely to stand up dates, with 25% admitting it compared to 19% of women.
63% of 18-24-year-olds have never stood their dates up, compared to 75% of people aged 55 or above. The latter demographic is the least likely to commit this offense of any age group.
Cushioning
Nobody is immune to a failed relationship. When it occurs, some choose to “cushion” their fall by keeping other people waiting in the wings. They invest time and effort into sustaining their Plan B’s interest, so cushioning can be considered a form of cheating.
Cuffing season vs. freckling
The term “cuffing season” denotes the tendency to look for a partner in the cold months of the year. Freckling is the opposite: someone only wants a relationship during the summer.
Demisexual vs. fraysexual
People who are demisexual are only sexually attracted to people, with whom they share an emotional bond. Fraysexuals are distinctly dissimilar in that they lose interest once they get to know someone on an emotional level.
Dry dating
“Dry” or “sober” dating is dating without alcohol. This trend is gaining momentum, with Bumble reporting that 34% of their users were more likely to drink on dates before the pandemic than they are now.
Green dating
Green dating is an eco-conscious trend, where one only dates people who share their values around sustainability.
Ick
When someone is immediately turned off by a prospective partner’s action or behavior, it’s called an ick. A common example is how someone eats.
Love bombing
A “love bomber” overwhelms another app user with excessive displays of affection. Anyone who falls for it sets themselves up for manipulation later on.
Final thoughts
Understanding the terms and jargon used on dating apps is essential for confidently navigating modern dating. As these platforms evolve, so do the terms describing different types of online interactions. Being familiar with the terms in 2024 and beyond can help users better interpret interactions and develop realistic expectations.